Love It/Hate It

Love/hate relationships are complicated.  I hate running; I think I've been pretty clear about that.  It feels awkward to me, it hurts, and I feel like a complete failure each time I try and can't go more than a few yards (this is not hyperbole).  However, those people who know me best know I have a considerable stubborn streak. And so I have been running.  A little, not a lot, but more than ever before.  And I have to say, I kind of love it.  Not while I'm doing it...I definitely don't love running while I'm running.  But I love that I am running on a fairly regular basis.  And I most definitely love the feeling I have after a run.  Vanquishing demons comes with an amazing sense of accomplishment.

So I've learned that I really prefer to run on a treadmill with great music and people around to distract me.  The treadmill also eliminates the concern about uneven pavement or roots sticking up on a wooded path.  I feel much more sure-footed and somewhat less likely to face-plant on a treadmill. I've also learned that I feel better when I stretch out my stride.  Tiny little slow shuffling steps seem like they would require less effort, but to me that feels awkward and seems to use fewer muscles so they become fatigued sooner.  It feels good to use the muscles in the front of my leg to stretch my foot forward, and then give them a rest while the muscles in the back of my leg push the road behind me.  Small steps also make it seem like I'm not getting anywhere.  I want to move, get it done, get it over with!  When I'm outside, it's motivating to see the earth move below my feet. 

Probably the greatest discovery, which has really helped me to get over the initial hump, has been that I need a good warm up, and then a period to catch my breath, before I can really go very far at all.  During our regular BWLC workouts, we start out with a routine warm up that usually includes a short run.  By the time that is over, I'm barely breathing.  Gasping!  Wheezing!  Ugh!  But then I have a few minutes to learn about our workout plan, and during that time, my breathing slows down so that I'm pretty sure I'm not going to die.  After that, I'm good to go.  We do cardio as part of our circuit training, and frankly I'm sucking wind during a lot of the strength exercises, too, but it's nothing like that initial shock to my system during the warm up.  Applying this pattern to my running at home, I realized that I need to give myself some time to regulate my breathing and calm down before I really make an effort at continuous exertion.  Instead of hitting the wall and stopping, I'm able to continue on and build some endurance.

To learn more about the mechanics of running and building endurance, I've been reading the book Running With Curves by Jill Angie.  I also downloaded an app on my phone to help train for a 5K.  The BWLC gals will be participating in the Run for Haven to benefit Haven Hospice here in Gainesville, which is coming up in a little less than a month, and I hope to be able to run at least a mile of it.  Right after that is the March of Dimes March for Babies, which has been a focus of mine for several years, since my kiddos were born 9 weeks early.  I have set a goal to finish the 8.6 miles in less than 4 hours.  You can find sponsorship info here, if you care to show your support in a monetary way (*ahem*): http://www.marchforbabies.org/aksibiski .

You will still hear me mumble (or scream), "I hate this, I hate this, I hate running!" if you ever join me for a quick jog around the neighborhood.  My BWLC4 homies can attest to this every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.  From what I understand, most runners chant that same mantra for at least the first mile.  Well, since I'm only up to actually running for about a half-mile total, I don't expect to overcome that loathing anytime soon.  But it certainly helps to keep me moving forward, knowing that it's a perfectly normal - almost universal - feeling, and that it's not just a sign of how out of shape or weak I am.  Actually, I take it as a sign of how strong I am; despite the anguish and difficulty I'm still doing it.  I'm vanquishing demons, in my running shoes.

To Market, To Market

The contestants gathered at a local grocery store to get the low-down from our trainer about what to eat, and some about what not to eat. But mainly we tried to stay focused on what IS good, whole, healthy food, the stuff we CAN eat.

Recognizing what to eat is really pretty simple. Breaking old habits, not so much.  I have about 8 meals that I make on a regular basis for my family.  I'm pretty sure pancakes and tacos are not going to qualify as "real" or "clean," at least not when the key ingredients come out of a box.  Smoked sausage and white rice?  Spaghetti with meat sauce?  Strike those, too.  With the exception of the occasional roasted chicken or grilled pork chop, I'm pretty much starting with a blank canvas.

Our guidelines are simple: eat real food. Here are some of the principles I'm following:

• If it comes in a package, it shouldn't have more than 5 ingredients, and you should know what all of them are.
• Only eat it if the ingredients would have been found in your great-grandmother's pantry.
• Pair complex/fibrous carbs (fruits and veggies) with healthy fats (nuts, nut butters, avocado, EVOO, etc.) or lean protein.
• Eat small "meals" or "snacks" every two to three hours.
• Drink enough water every day to equal half your body weight in ounces.
• Avoid white foods: white rice, white flour, sugar, pasta, potatoes.
• Choose whole grains such as oats, brown rice, quinoa, barley.

Easy enough, right? Well the surprising part, at least it was surprising to me, is that it is a lot easier than I expected. I haven't really been hungry, and when I am I eat. I've even been to a restaurant or two. Quinoa is something I'm still learning to appreciate, but I keep trying. 

Probably the most remarkable change that I've noticed is that my sugar cravings, which have haunted me for ever, are reduced significantly. A little honey and some raisins in my oatmeal are more than enough to quench that particular desire. For this sugar addict, that is a HUGE step.