Work It!

The workouts have begun, and oh my aching body. 

They made me run.  I knew they would, and I know I said I really want to learn how to be a runner, but there's a reason I'm not.  I hate it.  I'm pretty sure I don't know how to do it right - my body just feels so awkward. And the fact that I was completely traumatized by a run of about a hundred yards should tell you exactly how much I am NOT a runner. But I ran.  I did it.  And then the next day, while taking the kiddos to school, I ran again.  Of my own volition.  I nearly can't believe it myself.

We did a lot more than a tiny little run at our first workout.  Circuit training definitely hit all the major muscle groups, and got my heart rate and respiration to a place I haven't experienced in a long time.  I can't say I enjoyed it - I'm still so dismayed that this should be so difficult - but I LOVE being able to say that I did it.

And now I'm headed out to do it again.

Weights and Measures

In my mind, Thursday was the first day of the challenge.  We'd met as a group before. We'd asked questions and discussed food.  We have all thought and talked and written.  But Thursday was the day for our initial measurements; the day when our baseline was established.  It was the high-water mark, so to speak. 

Standing nearly naked (well, in a sports bra and shorts, but there was a lot of exposure) being measured, photographed, and weighed by people you barely know was not as uncomfortable as I expected. My 13-day stay in the hospital before my twins were born, unable to even bathe myself, really did a lot to diminish whatever small amount of modesty I ever had, so this was not a biggie.  However, hearing the measurements, seeing the numbers on the scale...ouch.  Suppressing the mental battle turned out to be the hardest part.  It was difficult to keep the self-deprecation to a minimum, but I was determined not to beat myself up over my weight or waistline.  The measurements only confirmed what I already knew: it's time for a change.

Once the physical measurements were complete, we had a little surprise.  I'm glad I didn't know about it ahead of time, because I would have built up a good bit of anxiety if I had.  Sure size matters, but fitness is a key component of this challenge, and so we needed to establish a fitness baseline, too.  That meant completing as many reps as possible in a minute on four different exercises.  I was so frustrated by the lack of strength in my body.  I was really disappointed in my results.  But the mental battle rages on, so I told my "inner  mean girl" to shove it - I didn't want to hear it, I'm only going to focus on where I go from here.  And from here, everything is only going to get better.

My Decree

As one of my first assignments, I was asked to write a decree, in first-person PAST tense, as if the competition has already ended and I'm looking back on what I accomplished.  It will be an interesting exercise to see how closely expectations meet reality.

My Decree:

My life has shifted in such a permanent, tangible way, it's hard to believe I ever lived differently.  The strength and energy that has returned to my body, missing for so long, has allowed me to accomplish so much.  Now I feel unstoppable, due to the confidence I have gained from each accomplishment. The last four months have shown me that I am capable of doing the hard work and making the tough choices which, in the past, seemed beyond me. 

First and foremost, I am a runner.  I can run a mile.  No, seriously.  Never before, not even when I was a teenager, have a run so far.  I completed the March of Dimes March for Babies in less than 4 hours, and I'm training for my first mini-triathlon.  I've gained a great cohort of "action-buddies" who propel me forward, and allow me to feel needed and useful when I am able to return their encouragement.

Tackling workouts and boot camp have made me realize that getting the mundane stuff of life done and out of the way is a piece of cake.  Gone are the days when I was just so tired all the time that even the thought of laundry or doing the dishes was exhausting.  I'm up and at 'em each day, staying organized, planning meals, and getting things checked off the "to do" list, so my time is free for taking care of me: exercising regularly and making healthy meals for my family.  After lifting, grunting, and sweating for weeks and weeks, saying "no" to a cookie while I'm baking for my customers is easy.

One of the most rewarding results of participating in the BWLC4 is seeing the changes in my children and husband.  My "picky eaters" are trying new things, eating a wide variety of vegetables, and are making healthy food choices on their own.  They no longer pester me for treats, desserts, and sweet snacks.  They appreciate the treats they do receive, because it is truly something special.  Also, I love being able to run, bike, play tennis, and be active with them.  Knowing that I have set an example of fitness for them to reflect throughout their lives, gives me great satisfaction.

Finally, I am so grateful for the support of my husband.  He encouraged me with not only his words but also his actions throughout the competition.  He ran with me, listened to me, and shared his confidence in me.  Amazingly, he agreed to improving our entire family's way of eating, adopting a "clean-er" diet, and joining me in making healthier choices. His investment gives me confidence that we can move forward, maintain the changes, and continue to improve.

The Wave

This is the wave.  The big impact.  The tumbling over.  This is the washing away of what was, standing up and finding new footing.  Ok, that sounds a little dramatic, but I'm about to begin a process that will result in a big lifestyle change for me and my family, and I expect it to be dramatic.


Last fall I was selected to be a participant in the Big Weight Loss Challenge #4.  The BWLC is an annual fitness contest sponsored by Giggle Magazine and Sweat Life Fitness.  You can learn more about it, and view my magazine debut, here. The program will involve personal training, group workouts, and boot camp.  In the end, I will be stronger, leaner, healthier, more energetic, and a better role model for my children.  So whether I am the winner or not, I will have won so much just by participating.  Don't get me wrong, though.  I really want to win.

The whole exercise aspect of this adventure is going to be a big ol' whollop of change for me.  "Sporty" is not a word with which I am often associated, but it's something I want to become, at least just a little bit.  It's a trait I'd like to encourage in my kiddos, and I think the best way is is for them to see me participating in physical activities with them.  So I'll be strapping on my tennis shoes, buying some sports bras (oy!) and moving around. A lot.

This contest is also the impetus I need to improve the way my family eats.  After months of clean eating, maybe - just maybe - my kids (and husband!) will begin to appreciate real food. Sugar addiction runs in my family; seeing the signs in my seven year old daughter breaks my heart.  This is the time to end the cycle and learn to live without the sweet stuff.


For the next 15 weeks I will be eating clean, exercising 3-5x per week, and marking changes...the watermarks.  I'll be mindful of the things in my life that leave an impression, things that affect my habits, thoughts, choices, and actions.  This blog is the platform for sharing the waves and watermarks that I encounter through this period, and beyond.